In the lights of Malina — 10

Chapter 10

They were getting close to the garden of Eden, the old Mall that was said to have survived the apocalypse, the radioactive steam which had one day emerged from the river, like a giant fart sent by all the creeping dragons. What would they find there? While they were walking, She was looking at him. He hadn’t talked since the Church. He didn’t look scared. He didn’t seem to carry any remorse. He just looked sad. Sad and grumpy, like a cat which finally got the rat he wanted to have to discover that the taste was pretty bad.

The sky was on fire this day, the sun was throwing pink, orange and yellow lasers that were leaving scars in the usual green that served as a roof for all those unloving creatures. Some rotten birds were flying, no flamingo. They had seen them heading to the Church, ready to eat the corpse of the Evil soul that used to haunt it. How come He had been the only one able to do this, by the way? There must have been other people willing to destroy that almost dead Bishop.

« Why do you think nobody else than you went to kill that guy? »

It didn’t cost much to ask. His face looked surprised at first, He was still in his thoughts. Then He looked at her.

« I think all the other ones ended up loving him. After years of tortures, in order not to get insane, some actually ended up being his slaves for good. They loved him and even helped him the times I was trying to escape.

 So what makes you not being insane?

 Am I not? » He answered. « I have been travelling with you for a few days to go to a place where maybe only death and desolation are expecting us.

 Yes, but you still have hope that it will be OK. I don’t. I cannot feel hope. I cannot feel anything. I wonder what it’s like in your body when you feel hope. »

He looked at her. Oops. She shouldn’t have said that. That was reminding him that She would never love him as well, and she could see the pain in his eyes. Not that He had moved anything, or looked sad, but she knew the light. There was a tiny spot in his eyes that would change color with his mood. When He was ok, it would be green. Now it was a kind of light blue that only black flamingos can have when they are mourning their babies. She knew that it was hurting him and that he was hiding it a lot. She didn’t need to ask herself because She knew that he was doomed, attracted by her sadness like a moth to a lamp. She knew all of it but she didn’t want him to go. Even if She would never love him, she needed him around to decide for her. She needed someone to take the lead of her life because She had no idea how to do differently.

He looked inside of her soul and knew how doomed He was. But still He consciously decided to carry on and keep going. Maybe His salvation was where hers was? Maybe the Garden of Eden would host something good? What if it didn’t? He was just ready to die in a better place than the Despair Tower or the bank of the River. Danmaluyong didn’t look like the right place to let your body rot. He wanted to die somewhere there would be some kind of nature, and that’s why He had decided to see the Garden of Eden. That mall was known before for the giant jungle that it was holding inside its walls. He was hoping that there would still be some kind of non-radioactive life forms He could see or touch.

« The Garden of Eden is not too far now, see, we can see the tower at its top. » He said. She couldn’t see it but she pretended that it was here. She still wanted to please him so He wouldn’t leave her alone.

« Yes, I can see it. Do you think we can make it tomorrow?

 I think so. » And from then He went back to his grumpy face that meant « Don’t talk to me now. »

They kept walking an hour or two until they found a place that looked comfortable enough to sleep for the night. The sun was setting somewhere behind the slums and its dim lights were spreading around the horizon. An empty cube made out of weird steel sheets, that’s what they needed. He was exhausted and wet. There was a stinky bed and a lock, fine, they wouldn’t be bothered tonight. All around were empty cubes made of different materials, some containers and other furniture. This used to be a huge neighbourhood where the workers would stay, waiting for their workday on the ships. There was some blue grass growing under the concrete, and dead rats could be seen. Rats didn’t like the blue grass but they couldn’t help eating it and then die. The sweetest poison is always blue.

He locked the place. She took her clothes off.

« Take me. I feel lonely. »

He came close to her face and looked in her eyes. While they used to have rough dominating sex, this day He couldn’t help being sweet. He kissed her purple lips and stroke her face with his hand. Maybe He felt that it was the last time that they would do something like this, so He didn’t care about showing her the love that He felt for her? Or maybe she was just too beautiful for his resistances?

He kissed her lips and part of his soul went all the way down her chest.

« It burns… »

It burned but it felt good also. So she kissed him too and his chest started to be on fire. The warmth from this touch made him lose control, and tears were flowing from his eyes. He started to hold her so tight that She felt possessed the way that She was longing for so long. She started to cry too as She was feeling something pleasing. They had no clue what was happening between them but their embrace felt good. More for her than for him as He knew he was losing his soul totally now. He was her slave forever and even if He looked like the dominant one, He would always be at her feet. Fuck. What an idiot. She will not love you if you fall for her. Too late. He allowed himself to let go this time, as He had let go his anger smashing the old man’s skull.

And it felt good.

In the lights of Malina, that night was recorded as the night when everything got quiet while the moon rose, red, above the lover’s hut. The infinite possibilities of what it was to be in love, and the lust of their skin touching each other would have made the Gods jealous if there had been any.

At midnight thirty, they had an orgasm together and their consciousness melt for an instant… And fortunately split again because no body can hold so much pain.

At one o’clock He was in love and She was back to her usual absence of feeling.